she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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