I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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