dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
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Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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