You're completely useless in the revolution.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
