The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
