I don't think brook has ever known best
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
