There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
