Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
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dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
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when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.