Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?

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  (612): Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife? http://tfl.nu/rjpj
  Replies (34) Good night (1937) Bad night (8193) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.

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  (618): I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask. http://tfl.nu/gfxs
  Replies (12) Good night (873) Bad night (2935) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.

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  (856): It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk. http://tfl.nu/u52z
  Replies (19) Good night (3707) Bad night (1473) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.

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  (540): Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof. http://tfl.nu/2421
  Replies (20) Good night (7659) Bad night (1289) Order T-Shirt
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  (450): View more from Quebec

  I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life

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  (450): I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life http://tfl.nu/01gr
  Replies (7) Good night (3998) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.

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  (502): I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time. http://tfl.nu/ujel
  Replies (10) Good night (5652) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  That sounds dangerous

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.

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  (316): So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses (1-316): That sounds dangerous (316): Don't worry......were wearing oven mits. http://tfl.nu/woxn
  Replies (9) Good night (4380) Bad night (787)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.

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  (870): I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god. http://tfl.nu/nsks
  Replies (8) Good night (2393) Bad night (1140) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals

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  (770): Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals http://tfl.nu/cikb
  Replies (17) Good night (1620) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.

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  (850): I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong. http://tfl.nu/d58h
  Replies (6) Good night (1273) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.

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  (651): We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom. http://tfl.nu/dyyq
  Replies (3) Good night (2277) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms

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  (781): Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms http://tfl.nu/wx24
  Replies (10) Good night (1116) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .

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  (206): At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks . http://tfl.nu/kxjn
  Replies (1) Good night (364) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.

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  (763): The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/um2t
  Replies (2) Good night (530) Bad night (368) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.

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  (330): im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me. http://tfl.nu/dfjj
  Replies (2) Good night (606) Bad night (152) Order T-Shirt

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