..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
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Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
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Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.