Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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