i just google imaged poop.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
