You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
