I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
worst night to have a conscience
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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