He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
This is my gift to your gina
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
