i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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