I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Let's paint friendship bongs
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
