If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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