i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
