the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
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I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
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It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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