pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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