You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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