Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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