So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
