Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
