I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish i was in the wii world.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
