Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the day after is always just damage control
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
