What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
