So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
