drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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