Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
