The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
