Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
