I think i peed on brittanys purse
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
