im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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