New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
