So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
