worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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