we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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