I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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