So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3