my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room