i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy