So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am naked and annoyed.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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