bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
