He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize