I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
