im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
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your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
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So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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