Michael Bay diarrhea
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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