You work out of a Hotel?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
