Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
