I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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