well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
