You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize