Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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