i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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