There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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