yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
