one might say we're banned from that church
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize