My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
