Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
